A BANK ROBBERY-MANAGEMENT CONCEPTS

There was this robbery in a Swiss Bank , the robber shouted to everyone: "All don't move, money belongs to the state, life belongs to you".

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.

This is called "Mind Changing Concept --> Changing the conventional way of thinking".
-------------------------------------------------
One lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her "Please be civilised! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional --> Focus only on what you are trained to do!"
-------------------------------------------------
When the robbers got back, the younger robber (MBA) told the older robber (who is only primary school educated), "Big bro, let's count how much we got", the older robber rebutted and said, "You very stupid, so much money, how to count, tonight TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience --> nowadays experience is more important than paper qualifications!"
-------------------------------------------------

After the robbers left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. The supervisor says "Wait, wait wait, let's put the 5 million CHF we embezzled into the amount the robbers robbed".

This is called "Swim with the tide --> converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!"
-------------------------------------------------

The supervisor says "It will be good if there is a robbery every month".

This is called "Killing Boredom --> Happiness is most important."
-------------------------------------------------

The next day, TV news reported that 100 million CHF was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count 20 million CHF. The robbers were very angry and complained "We risked our lives and only took 20 million CHF, the bank manager took 80 million CHF with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold !"
-------------------------------------------------

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his loss in the  share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity --> daring to take risks!"

-SHARED

HR MANAGER IN HELL

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she met St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the woman. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable." The Devil looked at her smiled and said ... ... ... .... .... .... .... .... "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"

SHOW YOUR ID

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh 

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh walks into State Bank of India to cash a cheque. 

As he approaches the cashier he says: 'Good Morning, Ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me?' 

Cashier: 'It would be my pleasure, Sir. Could you please show me your ID?' 

PM: (utterly shocked) 'I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need. I am Manmohan Singh, the Prime Minister of India!' 

Cashier: 'Yes Sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc., I must insist on seeing your ID.' 

PM: 'Just ask anyone here at the Bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am!' 

Cashier: 'I am sorry Mr. Prime Minister, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them strictly.' 

PM: 'I am urging you, please, to cash this cheque. Soniaji has gone to America and Rahulji has, by mistake, taken the keys of the safe with him. I need some extra spending money urgently.' 

Cashier: 'Look Mr. Prime Minister, this is what we can do. Some months back, Baba Ramdev came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Ramdev, he pulled his tummy in so much that it went and touched his back. With that feat, we knew him to be Baba Ramdev and cashed his cheque. 
On another occasion, M.S.DHONI came in without his ID. To prove his identity, he just went out and hit six consecutive sixes with Helicopter shot. With that we knew for certain that he was indeed Dhoni himself, and we cashed his cheque. So, Mr. Prime Minister, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, are the Prime Minister of India?' 

PM stood there thinking, thinking and thinking, and finally said: 'Honestly, my mind is totally blank ~ there is nothing that comes to my mind... I can't think of a single thing!!!' 

Cashier: 'There you are! That is enough. Now I don't have any doubt that you are our Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh. In what denominations would you like the cash, Mr. Prime Minister? 
-THANKS TO KARUNA 

A FRIEND INDEED.......................

A FRIEND INDEED:

Once two friends were traveling in a ship. The Cruise ship was broken when the sea was haunted by a terrific hurricane. Only these two men escaped from the vessel by swimming and reached a nearby small island. The island was like a desert.

Both were very good friends. They did not know what to do. They decided to  pray until God hears their prayer.  They decided that they  would see whose prayer was effective for which they divided the island into  two parts and agreed to stay separate.

The first of them was praying for food. A variety of fruit trees appeared in his part of land. He ate the fruits happily but there was no change in the other man’s land. He was still hungry.

As he was no more  hungry, his next prayer to God was to  seek a girl to be his wife.What a surprise! It seemed God had heard what he prayed in  his prayers and a beautiful woman appeared before him. He was happy and married the girl and enjoyed her companionship. But the man in  the island's other side was still hungry and lonely too.


Whatever the  first man prayed for appeared before him - good food, clothes, nice house, everything came up like magic. But the friend on other side did not get anything. He had collapsed in hunger.

Finally, the first man with his new wife prayed for a boat to go to his own place. That came next. The first person was ready to leave the island with his new wife. But he did not invite his friend to the boat which was ready to leave the island.. He thought that he had the blessings of God, but his friend did not have the blessings of God even though he did not get and He thought God did not lent His ears to his prayers. He did not want to take his friend to their native.

When the boat was about to leave , he heard a voice –THE VOICE OF GOD echoed in the sky “ why are you going to leave your friend alone on this island?” .

He replied God  “I prayed to you and You blessed me and made ​​everything available to me only but you  did not listen to the prayer of my friend. He is not considered worthy to even get  one thing.”

The God’s voice spoke again to him, “Son, you're wrong. He asked only one thing - to heed to whatever you pray for. I had fulfilled  your friend’s prayers. Blessed is he –Your well-wisher.”.



.

LOVE IN ACTION

LOVE IN ACTION

One night a man came to our house and told me, “There is a family with eight children. They have not eaten for days”. I took some food and I went. When I finally came to the family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured by hunger.

There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger. I gave the rice to the mother. She divided it in two, and went out, carrying half the rice with her. When she came back, I asked her, “Where did you go?” She gave me this simple answer, “To my neighbors-they are hungry also.”

I was not surprised that she gave-because poor people are usually generous. But I was surprised that she knew they were hungry. As a rule, when we are suffering, we are so focused on ourselves we have no time for others.

poor but intelligent

Lateral Thinking

Many years ago in a small Indian village, A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.  1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.  2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.  3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.  They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.  He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.  Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?  Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:  1 The girl should refuse to take a pebble.  2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.  3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.  Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.  The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses The above logical answers.  What would you recommend to the Girl to do? Try to answer before scrolling down.  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well, here is what she did ....  The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.  "Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."  Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.  MORAL OF THE STORY:  Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.

HUSBAND'S LAST WISH

There was a man who had worked hard all of his life and saved all of his money.

He was a real miser when it came to money.

When he became ill and knew he was dying he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die,

I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me.

I want to take my money to the afterlife."

His wife gave her promise that when he died,

she would put all his money into the casket with him.

A week later he died. On the day of her husband’s

funeral his wife was sitting next to her best friend

and just before the undertaker closed the casket she called out

“Please, Wait a minute!” walked over

to the casket and placed a small brass finished box inside.

The undertaker then locked the casket down and rolled it away.

The next day her friend came around to visit and said,

"I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all of his money in the casket."

“I promised.” The widow replied “I'm a good Christian

and I couldn’t lie I promised him I would put all of his

money into the casket with him, so I did.”

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in that casket with him?"

"Yes” said his wife . "I got it all together, put it into my account

and I wrote him a cheque, I thought if he can cash it he can spend it”

THANKS TO ASHA WHO SEND IT BY MAIL